Euphoria
by Twilightsavedme
Summary: From the time we were kids our teachers prompted us to participate in 'Show and Tell.' We grew up and developed our own little method of expression. Guessing what we're going to do next is futile because we have an obligation to shock and awe... but it went too far. Some can live with it, and some can't. The ones that can't, are left behind. The ones that can live in Euphoria!
1. Prologue

_Hi everyone! I really hope you all love this story as much as I do. I began this story with Roxy months ago and it was a story close to our hearts so I hope I have made her proud with what I have written so far. Most of the story is pre-written so expect frequent updates._

 _Thank you Sunflower Fran and NanStew for being great beta's I really appreciate you two doing this for me. This story was also pre-read by Pixie Masen, and Denise Leora Madre. Thank you all for willingly helping me with this. You all gave me confidence to continue._

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 **Summary: From the time we were kids our teachers prompted us to participate in 'Show and Tell.' We grew up and developed our own little method of expression. Guessing what we're going to do next is futile because we have an obligation to shock and awe... but it went too far. Some can live with it, and some can't. The ones that can't, are left behind. The ones that can live in Euphoria!**

 **Prologue**

There once lived a prince, who was soon to be the King of Light, replacing his ill father at the throne. He was known to all as the King of Light because wherever his feet took him, light followed. He could bring light to any dark corner, and he could bring life to any form.

One day he met a woman whose beauty captivated him and awakened a part of him he hadn't known lay dormant. Soon after meeting her, he knew as surely as the sun is in the sky, that he loved her unequivocally.

After asking for her hand in marriage, he followed the woman into her forest of Euphoria and thought he could lead them back to the light, but he could not.

He could not bring light to the forest because the woman was darkness itself. He soon realized that she was no ordinary woman. However, he still was enraptured by her beauty. Even when she showed that her true colors were that of a witch, he still loved her unconditionally.

He tried to make her see that she was beautiful, but he could not make her believe that she was meant to be a Princess. Deep down, she never wanted to leave the darkness, because it made her feel free. The darker her environment, the safer she felt. She was peaceful in her surroundings. There was nothing worth changing, nothing worth leaving for... not even the Prince.

She explained that to some, the darkness may seem like a place of bondage, but it wasn't the case with her. Darkness allowed her to live without shame, without fear of anything but the need to fall. She said that she never would fall in love, but her selfish need to have him around kept them both in darkness. The Prince had to make a decision to either leave the woman and return as King or stay with his love deep in the forest of Euphoria.

 **Bella POV**

Life is not a fairytale.

I wish I could tell you that my mom read me bedtime stories until I fell asleep. Stories full of light that teach a girl early on that anything is possible. Those very same stories like Cinderella even with her evil stepmother, she found light, hope, and love. Unlike Cinderella, there was never a mom in my life. Only a woman full of bad choices, setting a tragically bad example for her impressionable little girl.

I wish I could tell you that I once felt love from her, from my father, from anyone. It was something I searched for endlessly. After his death, I searched for a father figure in the men my mother brought home to take care of us. And when I was old enough, they found love in me.

I wish I could tell you that it was fatherly love or the kind that made a little girl feel she was protected. That kind of love was never for me, and it soon became apparent that I was only good for soft strokes of my hair after they were done using my body. I was given affection, not love, and I confused the two.

I wish I could tell you that my mother stopped them.

I wish I could tell you that she smoothed my hair back and held me as I cried myself to sleep each night.

I wish I could tell you she loved me, and I wish someone had.

Maybe then it wouldn't have been so hard to let Edward Cullen love me, and possibly, in the end, I could have learned to love myself. What is love really? I never knew until I met Edward. He showed me that love is wanting more for someone than they want for themselves. Maybe that's why I tried to stay away from him.

I knew that he deserved more, and I wanted that for him no matter how desperately in love I was with him. In the end, I found a way to hurt him in the worse way; to the point where all that was left for me in his heart was pure hatred. I promise you, though, it took a lot of love for him to hate me the way that he did.

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Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed the Prologue enough to continue. Thank you! :)


	2. Chapter 1

**I am posting a few more chapters tonight, all beta'd by Sunflower Fran and NanStew.**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

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 **Chapter 1**

The last glimmer of light is often obliterated by the rapidly falling darkness. Without much notice, the darkness surrounds me, much like the sight behind my closed lids.

I feel the night air as it faintly brushes against my skin, and the trees sway beautifully, protecting me from the heat of the setting sun. A stretch of blackness blankets the sky and stars twinkle up ahead shining in a merry way. With eyes closed to block out the changes in the sky, a smile makes its way to my face as it often does.

See, I enjoy the darkness, where all imperfections can be hidden… where _my_ imperfections can be hidden.

Blinking eyes make way to the sight of the pictures that are my imagination's creations. This is reality, and the sight before me is beautiful. I wish I were as beautiful... and maybe I am. At least on the outside. I'm as wondrously beautiful as the salmon-colored sky morphing to dark purple as the sun descends making way for the bright moon. On the inside, however, there's only darkness. That's why I can relate. I can relate to the peace the night sky brings the town, because as sad as it seems, the darkness inside of me is also comforting. It has been my constant, whereas, nothing else has ever been. It sticks around, while everyone else leaves. Darkness never leaves. I can close my eyes, and I'm there again, swimming in my ocean of deep-sea darkness.

I blink up at the brilliant sky, noting how the jet-black atmosphere envelopes the town quite like it has enveloped my heart, turning it to burning coal. But there is some good. Just as the ocean of black sky has luminous stars that flicker wonderfully up above, there's also a brightness within me always at the surface threatening to burst out, to show me that my darkness can be beautiful. I can make it beautiful just as the stars adorning the spacious sky.

Do I want that?

Do I want my outer beauty to seep inside?

Do I dare take the risk?

Just as my mind begins to concoct an answer, my phone pings with a text.

Leaning back against the hood of my car, I take out my phone holding it at eye level as I read the text from an unknown number.

 **Hey, Princess.** -Unknown

I stare for a while trying to figure out who this person might be, but I come up blank.

 **Hi.** -Me

I quickly reply hoping to have an answer soon. My phone pings with a text and in a flurry, I tap to read the message. In my clumsy rushed acts the phone to falls down across my face.

Ouch!

Rubbing the sore spot as I adjust myself in my laying position I read the message carefully.

 **Sorry, I think I texted the wrong number.** -Unknown

Nothing comes after that and as sad as it sounds, I miss this stranger's random text. Honestly, I just want to know who this person is and who this 'Princess' is.

I want to be someone's Princess. I want to be considered special to someone. Letting the darkness consume me forever is not particularly a dream of mine.

 **No, wait ... come back! I can be your Princess.** -Me

I reply and smile because it sounds like something I'd say even if this weren't to a complete stranger. I'm always this weird.

 **Lol. I'm sure you don't want to be my little sister. That's who the text is for**. -Unknown

I smile again at the response. Does this mean this stranger is single and doesn't think I'm being completely weird?

 **Don't stop calling me Princess just because it's what you call your sister.** -Me

 **We will meet again another time. Promise.** -Unknown

The text, although from someone I don't know, causes my heart to thud in my chest. Such sweet words I could cry; but the darkness would never allow that. My heart begins to gallop in my chest, and it doesn't do that jumpy, flippy thing for just anyone.

This is where the nightmare first began.

This is when I met the man that tried so desperately to love a broken woman.

This is when light first met darkness; where peace met a storm.

This is when the Prince met the Witch and mistook her for a Princess.


	3. Chapter 2

**This is the missing chapter with a little bit of Bella's background. Not sure how I missed posting it the first time. I apologize. Thank you for continuing to read on. This was beta'd by Sunflower Fran and NanStew. Thank you Ladies :)**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

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 **Chapter 2**

Bella Pov

Euphoria (N.) A feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness

That's how I'd decided to live my life a long time ago. I stopped letting people define me and started believing in myself. That's the real euphoria. Taking my life, my happiness into my own hands and not belonging to anyone; that's the best feeling.

It's not hard to live this way now that my mother left town with her new husband. Now I'm on my own and have been since the beginning of summer. She left me behind with only a letter detailing that she would pay all the necessary bills for three months and by my eighteenth birthday, I had to have a job to pay everything on my own.

It could be done, so I was doing it. I would work my last year of high school and be on my own with no problem. I didn't need her before, and I don't need her now. I'm better alone. At least that's what I like to tell myself. Which is why I push everyone away with my reckless behavior.

 _ **Winter (6 Months Ago)**_

 _"I dare you to kiss me," I tell Joshua, playfully pointing to my cheek, drunkenly laughing at the silliness of our little game._

 _We've been at it, playing truth or dare for over an hour waiting for Angela to come home from the library. I often wait here for her no matter how late, and since it's the weekend and her parents are away on vacation, Josh and I decided to have a little fun. He broke into his dad's liquor cabinet and fetched a bottle of Tequila. We've made it halfway through the bottle , and the effects are beginning to show._

 _Josh leans forward and aims for my cheek, but I turn my face and capture his lips in a kiss. God damn, liquor makes me horny as fuck. I press my body closer and shove my hands into his hair gripping him to me even as he pulls back to breathe._

 _"Bella, what are we..." He trails off, laughing it off, but I'm turned on now. There's no stopping me. I lean forward and kiss him again, but he pulls back. "You're Angela's friend."_

 _"And you're her younger brother. So what? Are you afraid of me?" I ask, my voice low and seductive, even through my drunken state I can tell that he wants me._

 _"No, and believe me..." He says as his eyes roam down my body. "I want you." He says and I smile in triumph, trying to make light of it._

 _"We shouldn't, you're right." I pull back, looking away from him and adjust my shirt. I feel his eyes on me, but I refuse to look. This is a game that I am very good at playing. He never had a chance._

 _He grabs my hand just as I am pushing from the floor to stand._

 _"Come here." He says before licking his lips. "I want you right here." He eyes his lap pointedly where there's a visible bulge._

 _I tilt my head to the side and steady him with a hooded gaze._

 _"You wouldn't know what to do with me. This pussy will fuck up your world, little boy." I bend down and grip his chin for good measure before standing at my full height just to show him the power dynamic._

 _I'm a woman, and he's just a little boy._

 _He shrugs his shoulder and grins at me. "Then fuck it up."_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

I'd gotten what I wanted that night just as I'm used to, but I lost something special in return. I lost my friendship with Angela. She had a right to hate me, so I let her. I had a right to what I wanted, though, so I took it. I won't deny myself no matter who I hurt in the process.

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 **Bella POV**

I like getting my pussy licked.

Don't get me wrong, my fingers do a fabulous job and so does my vibrator, but there's nothing like good oral stimulation.

When I am all out of options, I make my way to my so-called 'boyfriend.' Well, he thinks he's my boyfriend, but really, he's just some guy I let eat me out because he's great at it. If anything, we're friends with benefits, except I mostly benefit from our time together, and he doesn't seem to mind.

At least I thought he didn't mind.

 ** _Flashback (Three Months ago)_**

 _With his head between my legs, his lips wet from my juices, he decides it's the perfect time to ask how I feel about him. Feel? I have to have feelings for him in order to get a little oral attention?_

 _"So?" He asks, with glazed eyes full of arousal and something else. Hope? He's hopeful? Really, Mike?_

 _I shove his head back between my legs frustration building to anger and coursing through my veins._

 _"Can we talk about this later? Possibly after I come?"_

 _He chuckles and gives my pussy a teasing flick. "No more until you answer me, babe."_

 _I lean up on my elbows and stare at him dumbfounded. "Honestly, I just like my pussy licked, and you like to lick it. That's as close to feeling something for you as its going to get."_

 _He arches a brow and mulls over my words. "Oh. Okay."_

 _He never brought it up again after that, and I am beyond grateful because honestly, how awkward would that conversation be if it had continued?_

 _End of Flashback_


	4. Chapter 3

**This chapter was edited by two lovely ladies Sunflower Fran and NanStew. Thank you both so much!**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

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 **Chapter 3**

 **Bella POV**

Coincidence (N.) A remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.

With a sigh deeply set in my own self-inflicted boredom, I start a forum under the name Princess. I smile at the name, thinking back to my Prince from the week before. We hadn't texted again after that, rather on accident or on purpose, and apparently my mistaken identity was just that... a mistake. I wasn't going to bother him further.

I flex my fingers before typing out a very silly post.

 **Princess Prince 1:45 am**

I'm bored, and I just had a very weird thought. I would like to foam sword fight with someone. Sadly, all of my friends are girlie girls. My question is, will I ever meet a guy willing to sword fight with me?

I didn't expect a response at all, but I received quite a few almost immediately. One stood out among the others with just the name. Prince.

 **Prince Princess 1:49 am**

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You're asking whether I would want to hone my assassin skills, stay in shape, have a reason to keep multiple foam swords around my house, arrange the furniture in perfect place to leap off in epic finales, and all the while cause the activation of my sympathetic nervous system that will facilitate the release of adrenaline, potentially leading to sex?...

Is there a sign-up sheet somewhere?

 **Princess Prince 1:52 am**

Lol, I like the way you think.

 **Prince Princess 1:53 am**

This sounds like fun. When will the festivities begin?

 **Princess Prince 1:54 am**

I live in Forks. :(

 **Prince Princess 1:56 am**

This is fate... My dad recently married and I'm moving from California to Forks this summer.

 **Princess Prince 1:57 am**

Wow...hell of a coincidence. I'll be at LaPush practically all summer. You'll probably be too busy unpacking. :(

 **Prince Princess 1:59 am**

I'm never too busy to sword fight. ;)

 **Princess Prince 2:00 am**

You know where to find me. ;)

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 _ **EUPHORIA**_

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It's a rare cloudless day with the beaming rays of the sun streaming brightly through the trees. The light bounces off the window of my car almost blinding me as I drive toward La Push Beach.

At a red light, I take a moment to admire the blue of the sky. My lids close, fading to black as the sleek sun glimmers upon my face. With open eyes, my gaze locks onto the shining blue allowing me to feed off its beauty. This is the kind of day that convinces me that I can take some of it and call it my own.

Maybe I don't have to be dark forever.

Maybe there is some within me.

The roaring of an engine and loud music breaks me free of my inward thoughts. I glance out my window at the source of the interruption and see a car with a man in his early forties. There's a boy nearly my age in the passenger seat singing loudly.

The man in the driver seat looks a bit annoyed at the teenager but I can see that he also is enjoying the music as he lightly taps the steering wheel to the beat.

The boy turns to me and unfurls a drop dead sexy smile. Even as he continues to sing, he rolls his window down and turns to me.

" _Oh but they're weird, and they're wonderful_

 _Oh, Bennie, she's really keen_

 _She's got electric boots a mohair suit_

 _You know I read it in a magazine_

 _Bennie and the Jets"_

His singing and smiling are infectious I can't help but join in. It's not just his looks that do it for me. It's his total inhibition, much like mine, and the recognition of a keen spirit lightens my dark areas and tugs at something within me.

 _"Bennie."_ I sing along with the song, and his smile brightens at my willingness to join him in the sing-along.

" _Bennie,_ " He sings, and we are literally grinning like idiots.

" _Bennie_ ," We sing together. _"Bennie and the Jets."_

The light turns green, and the driver takes off quickly, leaving me in the dust confused and upset that our moment is over.


	5. Chapter 4

**If you have read my One-Shot "Another Time" then you have read this chapter before. I still hope you enjoy it. Thank you Sunflower Fran and Nanstew for editing this chapter for me. :)**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

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 **Chapter 4**

Bella Pov

Later at the beach, I meet up with a group of girls at my school, 'The Populars.' We prepare for a segment of the web show labeled 'Social Experiment; X.' I only agreed to this because my friend Rose just succeeded in hers last week and it was pretty embarrassing. She shouldn't have to do them back to back.

Last week Rose's segment involved her running around the school smacking guys on the butt. Then she had to wait near them and catch their reaction on camera. She's an absolutely stunning girl, so all was forgiven, and most of them even tried to hit on her. Her social experiment was completed.

If you're a beautiful woman, you can go around smacking boys on the butt and ninety-nine percent of them will be okay with it.

Today my challenge -if I choose to accept it- will be to go around the beach pretending to be lost and needing directions. As the guy or girl attempts to direct me, I stealthily have to try to kiss them without their permission. If I successfully get one guy or girl to make out with me, my social experiment will be complete.

"Okay Bella, are you ready to do this?" James, Victoria's boyfriend- asks me, the camera pointed directly in my face.

"Of course." Is my quick reply as I ruffle my hair and run my middle finger across my lips checking that they aren't chapped. "Let's do this."

I quickly introduce myself before letting my eyes freely roam the crowded beach, thankful that I have a great selection of both girls and boys.

There's a boy approaching the water with a surfboard in hand eyeing me as he passes. He sees the camera behind me and turns his attention back to the water shaking his head. Everyone in town has heard about us, so I'm sure his reaction is due to the fact that he knows we are about to do something completely against social order.

I run to catch up to him since he's the closest to me. Tapping his shoulder lightly with one finger to gain his attention turns out not to be such a great idea. He almost steps over me as if I wasn't there in the first place. I know that I'm a little on the short side, but this dude had to see me walking beside him. Even when I attempted to step in front of him as he took wide steps with long legs towards the wind-tossed waves of the ocean water I got no response.

"Hey," I say when he finally stops and actually looks at me. He smiles and folds his arms across his chest looking down at me from his height of nearly six feet five. He's cute, but in a very boyish way.

"You're camera girl." He points out, then he looks over my shoulder at James, who has the lens pointed at us but not near enough to be obvious.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I tell him, and he snorts and mouths, 'okay,' looking down at the ground. "Honest to God, I just need directions."

"Where to?" He lifts his brows eager to help.

"You tell me. Are there any good sandwich shops nearby?" I ask, putting on my flirty face, batting my lashes, swinging from side to side in a very damsel in distress sort of way.

His grin widens as he turns facing the entrance of the beach. His long arm points, and at that moment I realize he's too tall for this plan to work.

"I can't hear you from up there," I tell him and at this he laughs and leans down but continues to point, trying to give me directions.

"Turn left and-," He says but stops short when my face comes within inches of his. He looks at me frowning. "Did you just try to kiss me?"

"Mmm Maybe..."

He stands back upright and glares at me. "That's weird." He shakes his head and starts back towards the ocean shaking his head at me.

"Fail!" James shouts from his position not too far from me.

"Oh fuck off will ya!" I shout back, and he bursts into laughter. Victoria doesn't look amused or impressed, which I find irritating. This is supposed to be fun, but she makes it seem like a job.

I move from guy to guy getting so close to a kiss but they either just walk away laughing, or they are so freaked out they ask if I am mentally challenged.

One girl lets me get close enough to peck her cheek, but she calls it quits at anything more.

"That's all you're getting babe." She said, winking before running off to another girl throwing her arm around her waist.

"This is harder than I thought." I voice to James and Victoria.

"It's because you look like a creep," Victoria says with no inflection, all monotone and serious.

"I thought that was the point. Would you let a random creep kiss you?" I tell her and watch as she rolls her eyes at my idiotic statement.

"You being a stranger, trying to kiss a stranger, while said stranger is giving you directions are what makes you a creep." James clarifies, only solidifying the impossible nature of my task.

"One out of one hundred of these losers has to be a free spirit,"I say as I scan the crowd for what seems like the millionth time.

I see a mass of glistening, wet bronze hair with a hand strolling through it and my eyes zone in on the handsome face to match.


	6. Chapter 5

**I'm too excited to stop posting. Continuing reading please. Indulge me, I promise this won't suck.. it just may hurt a bit though.**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

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 **Chapter 5**

Bella Pov

I approach him just as he's taking a seat on a rock, running a towel through his hair.

"Hey, can I bother you for directions?" I ask in a squeaky voice.

"Sure." He replies slightly out of breath as he continues his task. He doesn't even look up. Perfect. I sit next to him on the rock, our bodies touching and I lean close. He doesn't move away.

"My friends and I are looking for somewhere good to eat. Any suggestions?" I ask him biting the corner of my lip nervously, hoping he looks over at me at some point. He doesn't, he continues to rub his hair, face and neck dry.

I roll my eyes having enough of this already, and I go in for the kill. I lean close and kiss the corner of his mouth, just one peck and pull back. He freezes altogether.

That reaction isn't quite as bad as the others, so I move in closer for a more thorough kiss, and his response is immediate. He turns and grabs my face with both hands, the towel all but forgotten in the sand beneath our feet.

His full lips are soft... so soft I could kiss him forever. The tips of our tongues touch igniting a spark within us too great to ignore. That's when the frenzy begins and we all but forget where we are.

He pulls me into his lap, and I straddle him as his hands roam the expanse of my back moving down to the curve of my swimsuit-covered ass.

He squeezes and I moan, shoving my hands into his hair to pull him closer and to give him some indication as to how good he kisses...how good he feels.

His growl is what pulls me back to the present day. I realize that my mission is complete, and I should hop off this stranger, but I don't want to. He makes me feel so good. His kisses chase away the darkness, filling me with the heat of passion and so much more. It's indescribable... it's scary.

I pull away from him, opening my eyes to get a better look. His eyes are slowly blinking open just as there is a tap on my shoulder.

"You don't have to rub it in. We got it." James says from behind me.

The stranger looks up at James and frowns, his eyes then meet mine, and they widen.

"It's you." He says. His words cause a memory from earlier in the day to rush back to me. "The _Bennie and the Jets,_ girl."

"You two know each other?" Victoria asks, moving around James to stand beside us. I hop off the strangers lap and fold my arms across my chest uttering the word, 'no' as he says, 'yes.'

I do remember him, but I don't want to have to redo this challenge with a hundred more people. I'm exhausted.

"I sang to you this morning." He says as he stands and walks toward me.

"This doesn't count Bella," Victoria says, and the guy turns to her, his brows drawn together.

"Bella." He says, turning his attention back to me. He smiles that same smile from this morning and my heart thunders in my chest. "That's your name?"

I nod, and his smile brightens.

"Are you two done having goo-goo eyes for each other? Can Bella get back to her job." Victoria rolls her eyes and stomps away pulling James by the arm. I follow, turning my attention from the handsome stranger.

"Job?" He follows behind us causing Victoria to look back and huff. "Your job is to kiss random boys on the beach?"

"No, this isn't a job. It's a social experiment, and you're messing it up for me." I mumble, shooting him side glances.

He stops walking and reaches for my arm halting my steps. "Can I have your number?"

With obvious displeasure, I back away from his advances out of fear. "I don't do that. Well, I try not to anyway."

He grins and takes out his phone. "Take a chance on me."

"I can't. I gotta go." I wave as I back away, but he reaches for me again.

"Come on, I sang for you. I don't do that for just anyone." His smile widens causing a smile of my own to spread across my face.

Looking away trying to hide the fact that his smile affects me, I reply in a low voice, "I doubt that. Boys with your face do shit like that all the time."

He reaches out and taps my hand with his phone. I look up in time to see him licking his lips. "You're wrong about me."

"It's a possibility, but better safe than sorry, right," I ask with outstretched arms as I take another steady step away from him.

He comes forward matching my step. "You don't seem like the same carefree girl I sang with earlier. She would give me her number."

"Bella!" Victoria calls loudly in a very rude and demanding way. With the roll of my eyes, I turn to face her.

"One second." I turn back to the boy that is quite determined to have my number. "Look, I'll give it to you if you promise to go away."

"Deal." He replies, looking at me expectantly with his phone in his hands.

I riddle off my numbers one by one and watch as he grins from ear to ear in victory. Then all of a sudden his eyebrows rise practically into his hairline and shock registers on his face.

"No fucking way! Princess?" He asks, looking up at me, his mouth open and eyes wide in shock.

"What?"

"Check your phone. This is going to blow your mind."

I do as he says, taking my phone out to look at it. I have a new text message.

The words displayed across my screen from an unsaved number cause my heart to thaw, and I allow myself to take a risk. I allow just a bit of light to creep into my dark soul. See, this boy is full of light. It shines brightly through him and threatens to break down all of my defenses.

Light will overshadow darkness, and I have been conditioned to protect myself from that. However, now that I have basically received a sign from the gods, I know for sure that following the lit path can be an okay thing to do. The light can be just as fun right? Just as freeing?

Truth is...I prayed for light, and I see now that it came in the form of a Prince.

So as I stare down at the text, I know now that vulnerability and discomfort are okay and baring my flaws is acceptable thing to do.

Light floods my insides with just one text.

 ** _I told you we would meet again another time._** -Unknown


	7. Chapter 6

**_This story was beta'd by Sunflower Fran and NanStew. Thank you both :)_**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

Bella Pov

Trouble (N.) A cause of worry or inconvenience

I should have known this guy was trouble from the start. I should have gone with my gut feeling and ran far away from him. I don't believe in fate, and I know it has never really worked in my favor so why would I think that now would be any different.

Just because his presence held warmth like I've never felt before, doesn't mean that I should abandon all that I know about the world and fall into his embrace. The world is full of darkness, regardless of how bright his aura may be. No matter how much of his light seeps through my pores, I will forever be made of darkness.

I was born of darkness, and I will die the same.

My words went unheard because Edward's attraction to me was so palpable I'm sure I could've told him I was the devil's daughter, and he would never flee. I can't say that I didn't enjoy the attention, but in the back of my mind, I knew he was way in over his head.

"Bella." I hear my name being called by Victoria across the table in the middle of the mall food court in Seattle. "You failed your challenge last week." She says with a smug grin on her face even though she knows that technically I didn't. She's referring to my kiss with Edward at the beach and I hate her and him for it.

"What the fuck ever!" I lean back in my chair, looking away from her as I slowly breathe in and out. I'm not a violent person, but Victoria is becoming more than a little annoying. I only put up with her bullshit because she gives us a cut of the profit from our videos that quite often go viral.

"Anyway, I should tell you all that our new segment is show and tell. Our viewers will pick our challenge, and we are to show it on tape and tell them about it in front of the participant. It's going to be so much fun."

"Sounds a lot like truth or dare." Rose points out the very thought that was taking root in my own brain. She reached the conclusion before I could even process it.

"No, no, no. This... is so much better. This, my dear friends, is live. No cuts no takes." Victoria looks ridiculously proud of herself for coming up with this, but honestly, I don't see how this can work.

"I need a trial run or something before I can agree. I'm not quite sure what the social experiment is. That's what I signed up for. The experiment. This isn't all fun and games for me." Alice says from across the table, and Lauren nods in agreement.

Although I did sign up for the fun of it, I can see where Alice is coming from. See, Victoria is smarter than anyone gives her credit for and she can easily manipulate people with just her words. She's no mere high school student like the rest of us popular girls attending Forks High. She's a junior in college.

This experiment started our freshman year when she was a senior. Rose, Alice, Lauren and I desperately wanted to be popular, so we naturally flocked to the popular crowd. Victoria asked if we wanted in, and of course, she knew the answer before she asked.

We've grown smarter since then, realizing that Victoria is a shark and her sidekick James is no better. They were in it for the popularity, now they are in it for the money, which can be a dangerous thing.


	8. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers_

 **Chapter 7**

Bella Pov

The next week Victoria set up the very first show and tell segment. Her challenge was to pretend to molest James openly and see how many people stop them at the mall.

Lauren is trying her hand at videography since James is in the shoot today.

"I'm James," James smiles and claps his hands together looking quite adorable and a little nervous, "..."And I'm Victoria." Victoria does a little wave and smiles at the camera before continuing. "We received a request on Twitter from Jaebluebaby with a perfect experiment for today to debut our new segment called Show N Tell. Meaning, we show how people react to a particular situation, much like we've done in the past." She takes a breath and James, ever the professional, jumps right in as if reading a teleprompter. They really are the perfect couple.

"One difference being that now we are live and in the feed, we are going to relay how the general public reacted and then tell how their reaction made us feel."

"Show the situation." Victoria jumps in when James pauses.

"Tell our personal reaction." James says, with a lopsided grin.

"If it is something you guys like, leave us a comment, and we'll continue."

James claps his hands together and turns to Victoria with his arms outstretched. "Now get ready to molest me, baby."

She laughs genuinely, probably not expecting him to say that, but the camera catches the brief and rare moment of a real smile.

Victoria takes a step back. "You should try first. I'm sure the reaction would be quite interesting."

"We have over two thousand viewers right now," Alice says with her face buried in the computer. I don't turn to look at her, but I nod in acknowledgment, because holy hell, that's a lot of people.

"Thumbs up for James to go first. Comments are flying in." Alice says to Lauren, and she quickly gives James a thumbs up.

He nods and they proceed with their social experiment.

Victoria walks away looking quite shaken up for a girl in no real danger. No wonder the girl is in film and production, she's also an amazing actress.

James follows after her first at a respectable distance, but he quickens his pace and begins to harass her.

Victoria walks in front of a group of middle-aged women, and she frantically pulls away from him as he grabs her hips and pushes up against her.

"I told you to stop! Leave me alone." She gains the attention of all the women and says, "Please help me! He's following me."

The women quickly step in between them and one of the women get in James' face.

"What's your problem? She said to leave her alone, so leave her alone."

James grins wickedly, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he slowly backs away. He puckers his lips at Victoria and licks his lips, further upsetting the women.

"Get out of here!" One shouts and makes a move towards him, her shopping bag swinging in the air. His eyes widen, and he quickly turns the corner and out of sight.

I laugh so hard at the expression on his face I can barely catch my breath.

"They are eating this bullshit up," Alice says before sitting back in her seat. "Three thousand five hundred viewers and over one thousand shares on social media."

"This is big, Alice. What do you think about it so far?"

She shrugs with one shoulder and takes a swig of her water. "It's practically the same. I just wanted to make sure."

I nod, understanding where she's coming from. "Where's Rose?"

"She's taking her SATs today," Alice says and then sighs because I know she's having the same thought that I'm having.

Our grades aren't good enough for college, but of course, Rose's grades are. No matter how much fun the girl has, school takes priority. There's no doubt in my mind she's going to have great scores and make it into a top notch college.

In the midst of my thoughts, I hear someone behind me whisper in my ear. "Hey, Princess."


	9. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

Alice makes a gagging sound in the back of her throat. "You have only been here three weeks, and you're already flirting with my friends."

I look behind me to see Prince Charming grinning down at me, completely ignoring Alice. I do the same at first, but then her words rush back to me.

"Wait a minute. This is your stepbrother? This is your Edward?"

"Guilty," Edward replies from behind me, one hand already snaking its way around my waist. I quickly turn and push at his chest.

"Don't touch me." I put my finger in his face to show him how serious I am, but he doesn't take it that way. He rolls his eyes.

"I've already had my hands in less innocent places on your body, Bella." Of course, his voice is low and dirty, but I'm unyielding. That kiss wasn't real, and he has to know that.

"You two know each other?" Alice asks looking between us, and of course, just like the day at the beach, he answers 'yes' at the same time that I say 'no.'

After we both say our reply, he looks at me with narrowed eyes and his never wavering grin tells me he knows exactly what it is I'm thinking.

"What do you want?" I ask blatantly because obviously, it's the only way to get him to leave me alone. "Do you want to get in my pants? Is that it?"

He chuckles, looking away from me momentarily. "Is that the only thing the boys around here want from you? Because honestly Princess, you should know by now that I'm a man." He leans forward to whisper in my ear. "I want more than your pussy." That low voice is enough to give him exactly that, but I stop myself.

I clear my throat, pressing my hand lightly against his chest to push him back, only because he has rendered me immobile. I can't trust myself to step back away from him.

He honors my wishes and takes a small step back. He looks at me from underneath long thick lashes and bites down on his bottom lip. I realize then that he is waiting on a response.

"So sorry to disappoint." I clear my head and decide to pretend to be unaffected, so I shrug. "I make it a habit not to sleep with my friend's brothers."

"Lucky for you I didn't ask for that." He takes that step back into my personal space. "And trust me, if you were in my bed, the last thing we would be doing is sleeping."

And with that, he walks away. I blink twice, dazed by him, his words, his scent...

When I blink again and clear my vision, he's gone, almost as if he were never there.

I turn my attention back to Victoria and James to see that Victoria is following James around, and he is halfheartedly pleading with people to help him get away from this crazy lady that's harassing him. It's so different from the response Victoria got when it was her that was being harassed.

One man actually asked James why he didn't want Victoria touching him because she's beautiful. James responds that she's psychotic, and he's told her a million times to leave him alone. The guy laughs and walks away.

Victoria and James make their way back to face the camera head on to tell about their experiences and that's when I glance over at Alice to see her hanging up her phone.

She glances up at me, and I look away hoping she doesn't ask questions about Edward. Of course, I'm not lucky whatsoever.

"What's up with you and my stepbrother?" She asks with her attention still on the computer.

"Nothing." I quickly answer, and she looks up at me and shakes her head with a smile.

"Just fuck him already, Bella. I know you want to. I can tell."

"I am reclaiming my virginity," I tell her with a straight face, and she tries hard to keep one as well, but instead we both start hysterically laughing.

"What's so funny?" I hear Victoria ask, signaling that the experiment is over.

"Nothing." Alice and I both say at the same time as if we're in trouble.

Victoria looks between us and rolls her eyes. "What's our number, babe?" She asks Alice, who is tapping away on her computer.

Alice refreshes the page, and her eyes widen. "Holy fuck!"

"What?" Victoria asks, her eyes widening as well.

"Over ten thousand views in just an hour of live feed, and four thousand shared on social media."

"God damn it, baby, you're a genius," James says as he kisses Victoria's cheek, lifting her feet from the ground.

She giggles, and slaps his chest, "Put me down." She says and he immediately follows directions. "Any comments on what our next experiment should be?"

"Of course." Alice begins tapping away on the keys again before smiling.

"Lay it on me."


	10. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

Bella Pov

I only have two moods: fuck you, and fuck me. Anything beyond that is what I consider'light', and I'm not for it. Fuck you, is my way of showing anyone and ever one my ass to kiss. I've been alone my whole life, so I don't need anyone. Therefore, I can live by the philosophy 'fuck you.'

Then there's fuck me, which is pretty much self-explanatory. That's why putting Edward into one of those categories was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Fuck you, or fuck me? I chose fuck you and left him there, hoping like hell that I never went back on my decision.

Today I have to focus on my segment, not on Edward because this is my first, Show N Tell. Since it's the weekend, it's back to the beach for me. Social Experiment X: Are they real?

"Hello, Bella here! I bet you're wondering if these bad boys are real?" I point to my chest and lean forward giving my boobs a little shake in my bikini. "Or what about these?" The camera turns to reveal Rose in a bikini. She does a little shimmy, her dimpled smile on full display for the camera.

"Don't worry whether our boobs are real or not. Focus on La Push." The camera pans to women all over the beach. James has one camera, and Lauren has another, and the screen is supposed to be split to give a wide range of women throughout the beach.

"Okay, so we will show a pair of boobs, and you will comment real or fake. Not only am I willing to catch the reaction of people when I ask them for the truth, but I will also tell them what my first reaction was. Show N Tell, get it?" I giggle for the camera and then wink as I shoot a flirty look into the lens and slowly back away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Edward join Alice off to the corner. He's shirtless of course, showing off rippling abs that just beg to be licked. He's sporting board shorts low on his hips exposing a sexy as fuck V cut that leads to the promised land. I think I actually drool a little bit with just a mere side eye of him. Imagine what a full glance of his body will do to me. Jesus help me! If he keeps walking around like that, I'm fucked... literally.

He folds his arms across his chest leaning back only slightly, his eyes narrowed to block out the sun and I feel them zero in on me. I can feel his eyes roam my body, but I try my best to ignore the heat that pulses between my legs at just a look from him.

I need to focus.

James points to a girl in a skimpy red bikini, and he mouths fake. I laugh and make my way over to her.

Without her permission, I pop a squat next to her kicking out my legs. She glances over at me and smiles before throwing her head back to enjoy the sun.

"You have amazing boobs," I say, tilting my head to the side. Her head pops up quickly, her smile still in place.

"Thanks, so do you." She throws her head back again and readjusts the way she's resting her arms in the sand.

"Can I touch them?" I ask her because honestly at first glance it's hard for me to tell, but James is a guy, and maybe that's how he knows.

She laughs and looks at me taking this with ease. "I'm nineteen. I don't need enhanced boobs, but sure, cop a feel. I'm not shy."

She turns her chest in my direction, flipping her hair back. I reach forward and squeeze her boobs before looking back at the camera with my mouth wide open because- oh my fucking god- these ridiculously perky boobs are real. Then I place my hands beneath them and jostle them a bit.

"Wow! Well, there you have it, people. They're real."

"Is this a TV show?" She asks, looking over my shoulder, finally seeing the camera.

I stand and dust the sand off my legs and butt. "More like a web show."

"Oh cool. Feel free to feel my boobs anytime." She winks at the camera, flips her hair and leans back to enjoy the sun.

This goes on for nearly an hour and so far I've been wrong practically each time I've guessed. Some women were uncomfortable with me asking about their boobs, and most were unwilling to cooperate with us or show their attributes. One girl literally covered her chest with a towel after telling me to fuck off.

At the end of the show, I turn back to the camera to give my reaction and of course, I'm horribly ashamed because apparently, I should know a woman's body... whatever.

"Follow us on _Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook_ , and find me IzzyBell. Don't forget to send us new challenges, guys. This is Bella, and I was beaten by the experiment, but I'll be back next time. Peace." I shoot the camera the peace sign and tilt my head to the side smiling with half-closed eyes to block out the sun.


	11. Chapter 10

**Thank you so much for all your help Sunflower Fran, NanStew,** **Pixie Masen, and Denise Leora Madre. You all gave me the push to continue writing and I can only hope I have made Roxy proud by continuing one of our stories.**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyer._

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

It's not long before Edward is walking beside me as I make my way down the beach, kicking my legs in the water.

"Interesting experiment." He says, nodding his head as he pops sunflower seeds into his mouth.

I say nothing, nor do I acknowledge that he's speaking. "Ignoring me won't work forever, Princess. We'll be going to the same school in a few weeks."

I still ignore him and take a deep breath. I don't want to speak to him because then I'll be tempted to look at him in all his bare-chested glory.

He doesn't make this easy on me, though, which is what I should expect from someone that has been a persistent pain in my ass since meeting him a month ago.

He steps in front of me walking backward as I continue forward, my head angled facing the water to avoid his face and chest.

"You're going to pretend I'm not here?" He asks, then chuckles to himself. "What do you accomplish by ignoring people?"

"A lifetime of self-inflicted loneliness." It hurts to say because it's true, but also because I sort of wish it weren't true.

"See, that's what I thought." He wags his finger at me. "That you were a loner. Then I decided that I don't care. You can't get rid of me. I know what I want."

"And what might that be, Prince?" I stop abruptly and fold my arms across my chest.

His eyebrows raise and his steps falter. He doesn't answer right away, but his eyes remain on me as he takes two slow steps toward me closing the distance.

"I want you-" He tries to say, but I cut him off scuffing at his attempt.

"How original!"

His brows crease and his face grows intense. "You didn't let me finish." He snaps. "I want you to want things you think you can't have, so I can be the one to make you smile when I give them to you."

"What makes you think you can give me anything I don't already have?"

"You don't have that smile, and you don't have me..." I didn't realize that I was biting down on my lip until he pulls it from between my teeth. "...yet." He whispers.

My brain slowly works his words around in my head, and I stumble back unsteadily.

He reaches around and holds me up by my waist. I feel the heat of his body and my eyes flutter closed. I feel him tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, and my eyes fly open at the intimate touch.

"Now be a good girl and tell me about your day."


	12. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

Bella Pov

 **Attraction (N.) The action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something.**

There has to be some allure to acting like a total bitch to someone that has a growing infatuation with potential. Literally, Edward mistakes my rudeness for flowers and sunshine and keeps coming back for more. Every fuck you is an invitation but not in a creepy stalker kind of way. He's respectful and appropriate, which is heavily grating on my last nerve because it would be easier to mean the words that I speak if he was more of an asshole to me.

Today is just another example of how he has become blinded by infatuation. At five in the morning, I throw on my running shoes, a tank, and shorts, with my hair up in a high ponytail preparing for my daily run.

I beat the sun out most mornings and today is no different. Running along the beach in the dark is simply perfection. The smell of salt water is so distinct I can taste it on my tongue. The wind is briskly beating against my face, providing a cooling sensation as I exert myself. The smell of the sand is crisp and inviting, not too deep, just steady enough to provide a challenge. The waves are calm, putting my mind at ease with every pound of my foot against the sand. I push forward, needing miles upon miles of the exertion to take my mind off Edward Cullen.

Thinking his name was the first of many mistakes regarding my Prince. I somehow tempted fate and its unusual dealings on my behalf as of late. My stroke of bad, or rather good luck, depending on the perception- brought Edward right where I just so happened to be.

I stop my run and bend at the waist to take a few breaths before giving him a verbal lashing.

"How did you know I would be here?" The object of my obsession is mere steps in front of me, once again tempting me with his glistening bare chest.

He seems to mull over my words for a second, then he circles me. I roll my eyes just wanting this conversation to be over so that I can finish my run.

"I'd like to say, right place at the right time, but I know you'll see through my bullshit."

"You'd be right in your assumption," I say before I again take off running.

He follows after me and is soon right beside me easily keeping up with my pace.

"I'm not trying to upset you."

"You're failing terribly," I reply only slightly out of breath.

I glance over to see his lip twitch in amusement.

"I amuse you." It's not a question, but an observation. If that's where the infatuation lies, then I definitely can remedy this.

"No." He grins, shaking his head at me. "Children are amusing. Clowns, comedians, performers..." He trails off. "You're a work of art."

"Something to put up on a wall to be viewed every once in a while."

"Something to be admired. Have you ever actually viewed artwork, Bella?"

"Yeah, I've looked at a few here and there."

"Looking is only physical," He tsks, but quickly follows it by saying, "Now seeing...that's something special. That takes time and attention. Once I see you, Princess..." he pauses and glances over at me, my eyes already fixed on his face, practically hanging on his every word. "I'll be able to tell your story better than you can."


	13. Chapter 12

**This chapter was betad by Sunflower Fran and NanStew. Thank you ladies! :)**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

 _Chapter 11_

 _"I amuse you." It's not a question, but an observation. If that's where the infatuation lies, then I definitely can remedy this._

 _"No." He grins, shaking his head at me. "Children are amusing. Clowns, comedians, performers..." He trails off. "You're a work of art."_

 _"Something to put up on a wall to be viewed every once in a while."_

 _"Something to be admired. Have you ever actually viewed artwork, Bella?"_

 _"Yeah, I've looked at a few here and there."_

 _"Looking is only physical," He tsks, but quickly follows it by saying, "Now seeing...that's something special. That takes time and attention. Once I see you, Princess..." he pauses and glances over at me, my eyes already fixed on his face, practically hanging on his every word. "I'll be able to tell your story better than you can."_

* * *

Chapter 12

 **Bella POV**

"What are you really saying?" I ask, but he doesn't respond.

"I'm going to take you to a gallery one day, and I will enjoy the hell out of seeing you fall in love with a painting. Then and only then will you understand why you are so closely related to art."

"Explain now." I push for him to talk, finding that his passion is such a turn on.

"Impossible." He replies with a small grin, shaking his head.

"Try."

He glances at me for a second and his grin widens. Then with a deep breath he finally speaks.

"When I view art, I follow the steps as my father once taught me, that way I can fully appreciate the experience. I learned to believe and understand that it's possible to have an ongoing relationship with a piece that is unchanging."

"Now, I'd say that is impossible." I blow out a puff of air and shake my ponytail in the wind.

"Many would. However, my father is an artist so I've had the good fortune to be surrounded by his world my entire life."

"So how do you do it?"

He contemplates my question, proving how genuine and unrehearsed his words truly are.

"I take the time to see the art. No glance can capture the real meaning of a piece. So with a blank mind, I become transfixed. I live and breathe for one purpose only, forsaking all contrary thoughts."

"What happens then?"

"I fall in love and find that it's necessary in my life." He pauses and chances a glance at me. "Now do you see yourself as clearly as I do?"

I don't respond to him, I don't even speak because honestly what can I say to that?

Instead, I speed up my run, needing the darkness to reestablish itself around me, around my heart to continue to fight off this man.

Glancing out of the corner of my eye I see that he sped up as well, and he doesn't seem to be over exerting himself one bit.

He opens his mouth to speak, and I think back to what we were talking about only moments ago and stop him in his tracks. My heart can't take his words or his passion. I'm barely able to withstand his presence.

"I'll race you," I say before taking off down the beach with him hot on my heels.


	14. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer : These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

Chapter 13

Reflection (N.) The throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.

Here's my theory.

I've never truly seen myself clearly. It was Edward's comment last week that made me question it. He had struck a nerve, and he wasn't even aware how deeply he had cut into my old wounds.

I'd since sewn myself back up and pretended I didn't give a shit about anyone's perception of me, especially not Edward.

But what if I'm right about myself and others? When looking in the mirror, do I see myself, or the version that I want everyone else to see? If I'm all consumed in what others perceive I'll never see myself clearly. I'll only see what everyone else does, which is only the parts of me that I allow.

That is why I decided a long time ago that I would forever be alone, and others would never again define me. I wouldn't be defined by my whore of a mother. I would define myself and live that way for the rest of my life.

I would live in Euphoria.

The only problem is, Edward has made me question that very decision. By not letting others define me, I still have somehow become the definition that others created for me. I will never see myself clearly, because I am simply a reflection of what others see. I am even a reflection of Edward, of his light, his beauty... but even he can't save me from the darkness. He alone can't save me from myself.

The path to destruction is a lonely one, only loved ones are dragged down because of their inability to let go of potential, of the reflection. I heard Edward's words loud and clear last week durinh our run, and I see the path he has chosen, and it's one of continual pursuit. That very same day I chose my own path, one leading far away from him for his own good.

I can already see that the more I get to know him, I'm really getting to know myself better. As I open up more and allow him closer into my darkness, he thinks he is gaining from the experience.

He thinks he's getting closer, getting stronger.

He thinks he's weighing me down, when really, he's doing the opposite.

Edward is only strengthening my resolve. I am only reflecting his light, but no matter how close he gets, I refuse to absorb it.

I'm deflecting him.

That's why, in the furthest corner of the dimly lit house, I sit on Mike's lap grinding slowly to Rihanna's 'Work.' Feeling a stiff cock beneath me would usually prompt a trip to the bathroom, but not tonight. Tonight I want to be seen. I want him to see how I'm into Mike, and how I only want Mike, so maybe then he'll understand that he and I are never going to happen.

Mike grips my hips and wiggles beneath me. Normally, his breath on my neck would send chills down my spine, but for some reason it only causes bile to rise up in my throat.

I stand from his lap, one hand over my mouth, simultaneously feeling ill and sorry for myself all at once.

"Where ya goin' babe?" he pulls my arm and tries to discreetly place my hand on his bulge, but there's nothing discreet about it.

"Bathroom," I say, tugging my arm away.

The long walk composes me enough, and I instantly feel much better without Mike pressed up against me. I decide to take a breath of fresh air and calm my nerves so I step outside and do just that. Everything is fine, and I am just about to turn and go back inside when I hear his voice, and I want to die a little.


	15. Chapter 14

**Thank you Sunflower Fran and NanStew for editing this story. :)**

 _Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

Chapter 14

 **Bella POV**

"Hey." He says simply from somewhere behind me, but I don't turn to face him. He walks around me until he is right in my line of vision. He stuffs his hands into his pockets and lets his green eyes greedily scan my body from head to toe.

"You have a staring problem." I'm being a bitch, and I can't seem to help it.

"I explained to you what you are to me so that this very thing wouldn't happen." He reaches an arm out and grabs my hand, spinning me to the side so that he could get a full look at me in all my mini dress and high-heeled glory. I allow him to assess me. There's no harm in looking right?

"God damn! You look exceptional, Princess." His eyes linger on my legs and my ass and of course, I allow it. In my experience, guys don't appreciate my ass half as much as they appreciate my boobs, which is a pity because I have a fantastic ass.

I tug my arm away and clear my throat. "You followed me out here."

"I saw you, I wanted you, I came to you. And when you're ready, I'll take you. What part of what I have said to you over the past few weeks do you not understand?"

"All of it. I don't understand you at all. What part of I don't want you, don't you understand?"

He smirks at my words, and I can see that narrowed all-knowing look in his eyes that tells me he knows something.

"Tell me this. Why all the trouble to make me jealous?"

"Jealous? You think I-" I laugh it off, even though I'm freaking out inside. "Wow! You think too highly of yourself Prince Charming."

His brows lift practically into his hairline. "You deny it."

"You bet your ass I deny it. I don't need to make you jealous."

He looks satisfied with what I've said, and with a nod he shrugs off the comment. "Good."

"Good." I repeat, hating the thought of allowing him the final word.

"If you're not trying to make me jealous then you must really like him which means I have to kill him."

"What?" My eyes practically bug out of my head, and I frantically search for a way to backtrack. I don't know him well enough to know if he's joking or not.

He shrugs like it's nothing. "I have to kill him." He takes a step forward, and I step in front of him, my hands on his chest pushing him.

"No, wait, listen, okay! Okay, you got me! I was trying to make you jealous. I don't like Mike at all. I-"

I stop short when I hear him laughing, and I look up with a glare deadly enough to set him in flames.

"I'm only kidding Bella. Fuck, did you think I'm with the mafia or something?"

"You! Ass!" I shove him, and he falters back a step but continues to laugh.

"By the way, Princess, I don't get jealous."

I roll my eyes at him. "Good to know."

"If you want my attention, find another way to get it."

"I wasn't-"

"Don't lie to me, Bella!" It's the sternest I've ever heard his voice, and it stops me in my tracks. He takes a breath. "There's no reason to try to make me jealous. I'm yours."


	16. Chapter 15

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

Chapter 15

Bella POV

Companion (N.) A person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels.

"I'm yours."

He'd said the words with conviction and millions of tiny pieces of coal shattered around my heart. Just like that, he had penetrated the very essence of my being without trying. Just like that, he'd invaded my inner most parts and pumped my heart back into motion. It was now beating, not strong, not steady, but still... there was a heart there that was no longer black and cold.

He'd broken through my darkness with two simple words.

No one has ever belonged to me. The responsibility for the care of someone else's most precious part of themselves. How could he do that after only knowing me six weeks? How could he entrust me with his heart when all I've been trying to prove is how unworthy I am? Why would he place himself in my care?

Why would he do that?

Why?

The better question is why am I not trying harder to push him away?

For the past three weeks, Edward and I have spent the first two hours of our day dedicated to a five o' clock run on the beach. Usually, he comes back around the time my girls and I do our segment, and he watches at a respectable distance.

"A lot of what you ladies do look to me like pranks." Edward points out, drinking his beer while he watches me eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup with rapt interest.

I moan around a bite before answering. "Mmm, yeah, well I guess they are sort of pranks."

"The other day you pantsed like thirty guys."

I shrug with one shoulder and bite around the edge of the peanut butter cup savoring the middle for last. It's a really weird way to eat it, but I've been doing it since I was a kid. I didn't have many pleasures growing up, so this was one thing I treasured. The middle of the Reese's cup.

"Social order needs disrupting every once in a while." I pop one finger into my mouth licking away the chocolate.

"Is that really a stand to take?" He seems fascinated by the way I'm eating, and even though I'm not looking at his face, I can feel his eyes on me.

Just as I'm answering his question, the wind picks up, and my other Reese's Cup is lifted by the wind. I squeal and reach for it with my index finger in my mouth.

"Let me help." He says as he grabs my hand pulling it free from my lips and taking my thumb into his mouth, his eyes locked on mine as he sucks away the chocolate. My eyes flutter as the sensation of his swirling tongue pulses through my body sending a flood of arousal between my legs. I squeeze them together hoping it's enough friction to stop me from jumping his bones.

When he releases my hand, he stares at my thumb, then looks at me and says, "That's damn good baby."

Bella Pov

I'm lying on a blanket under an olive tree letting the wind caress my skin and blow through my hair while I get reacquainted with a good book. Edward missed our workout session this morning so the macho man is doing pull-ups on a tree branch looking a lot like a monkey.

Did I mention he's shirtless? I giggle when he falls a few times, but otherwise, I try to keep my eyes off him because he's one sexy eighteen-year-old and honestly, I want nothing more than to acquaint our two most private areas.

I try to keep things playful and light since we're just friends, but often times it's hard because he's so fucking amazing.

He stops his curls and falls onto his back above my head taking calming breaths. When his breathing is normal, I feel him shift to face me with one arm supporting his weight.

"Tell me about your parents." He has his hands in my hair, running his fingers lightly through the tresses as he waits.

"Not much to tell. My dad was a pimp, and my mom's a whore. End of story."

He doesn't miss a beat as if I didn't just say something completely off the wall and crazy.

"So you live with your mom?"

"Yes." That's the easy answer. I can't go around telling people my mom abandoned me months ago, and now I have to fend for myself.

To distract the both of us, I put my book down and line the screen of my phone with the beam of the sun and angle it to flash the light in his eyes.

"You think you're cute." I look up at his face to see his lips twitch as he places me under the spell of his sexy narrowed stare.

I squirm beneath his gaze and my phone tumbles out of my hands as he easily lifts me and places me over him so that I am straddling his body.

I'm giggling like a crazy person all the while, because, in the midst of lifting me as if I weigh nothing, he tickles my sides until I have tears rolling down my cheeks.

When he stops his attack and just stares up at my smiling face, his expression morphs into something more, something warm and not so friendly.

My smile slowly falls as I try to comprehend his expression.

"What is that look for?" I ask him with my hands planted firmly on his chest. I pat him, trying to turn back the mood and set a friendlier atmosphere.

We're friends. Nothing more.

"Every time I see you, I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time with a new set of eyes." He reaches his hand up to push my hair back, then he's cupping my cheek and running his thumb over my skin. "There are so many beautiful things hidden behind those eyes, Princess. I want to be the one to free you."

"What if you don't like what you see when you finally free the real me?"

His smile is answer enough, but still, he says, "I'm too far gone to care."


	17. Chapter 16

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

Chapter 16

Bella Pov

School started last week, and it has been beyond hellish from the start. First, I had to sell my car to pay the light bill, the water bill and to put groceries in the house. Apparently, my mom 'forgot' our deal was that she would wait until _after_ my birthday to cut me off completely.

Now I spend my mornings walking to school with Rose because I haven't looked for a job again yet. Typical of me to wait til the absolute last second.

I hear catcalls from beside me, and both Rose and glance over to see Edward leaning out of the passenger window of a moving car. The car turns and in an instant is slowly rolling beside us with Edward staring at me.

"You're such a creeper," Rose shouts, then rolls her eyes, clutching her books tighter to her chest. I subconsciously smooth down the back of my skirt and glance at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Emmett says hi." Edward relays the driver's message, but of course, Rose isn't having that.

"If Emmett has something to say to me, he can tell me himself." Rose stops walking, and I can see her turning red with anger. She and Emmett have a complicated relationship, and it's sort of funny watching her blow up at him all the time.

I'm sure Emmett and Edward have quickly become fast friends seeing as Alice's mom and Emmett's mom are best friends.

Edward laughs at Rose's outburst and turns his attention to me just as the back window rolls down revealing a very stoned Garrett.

"You look beautiful." I hear Edward say, but I ignore him and pick up my pace.

"I'm sure I do," I say out of the side of my mouth. The car speeds up to match us, and I groan in frustration.

"You're going to be late to class, Princess."

"Who gives a shit!" I snap, and then take a breath realizing that Edward is not the reason for my bad week or my ridiculous morning. He is not the reason my life is shit, my mother is. I shouldn't be taking my anger out on him.

Edward takes my foul mood with ease as he often does. He even smiles at me as if my attitude is where his attraction lies.

"Get in the car, beautiful." His tone softens, which only angers me more. "You too Rose."

"Who the fuck are you?" I shout, just as Rose mumbles, "I rather walk barefoot through a poisonous snake pit in a ring of fire." but only I hear her very vivid account of my thoughts exactly.

Garrett decides to pipe in at that exact moment, proving that my mood can be made worse.

"God Damn it, Edward, bless you for having patience. I told you that woman was a handful."

I flick Garrett off. "Fuck you, Garrett!"

"That is exactly why I have two hands, my friend." Edward says with his eyes on me as the car slowly rolls beside us. "I was made to tame that woman and I will, or I'll die trying."


	18. Chapter 17

_Disc_ _laimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

Chapter 17

 **Bella POV**

Ecstasy (N.) An overwhelming feeling of great happiness or joyful excitement

What do you do when you're stuck in your own silent hell? What can quiet the voices; the noises that taunt the corners of your mind? It's those noises I tell myself that I fear when really it's just my natural reaction to being alone. I tell myself that I like being by myself, that I like having a home to myself with no one to answer to.

In solitude, I find peace, not loneliness. To some, there is no difference, and to some pain is etched in the very meaning of the word. I say that I value my solidarity, but I find pain in my silent hell. I find pain in being alone.

So when there's a knock on my door at nearly midnight on Friday evening, I welcome whoever is coming to rescue me from my thoughts.

It's Victoria, Lauren, and Alice, and they are all smiles tonight.

"What's this?" I motion in their general direction, happy for the company, but not sure, if I truly want to be around people. Only a true loner would understand my mindset.

"You wouldn't answer your goddamn phone!" Alice slurs drunkenly, slinging her body onto the loveseat.

"We were having a fun girls night in my dorm room when Alice shouts, 'this would be so much fun if Bella were here.'"

"I agreed." Lauren pipes in with her hand raised in the air. She also looks to be completely faded.

"So we came over," Victoria says before winking at me. "But first, Bella you have to catch up with us." She takes out two baggies and my eyes scan them slowly only smiling when I see weed. I snatch the bag from her and begin to roll blunts.

"You know what we should do? We should play truth or dare and put it on the web show. Let the audience chose." Victoria says, clapping her hands together before opening another baggie containing capsules. I don't ask what drug it is because it's not my business, but I eye her suspiciously.

She passes the bag off to Lauren who gives it to Alice at which point it does become my business because she's one of my closest friends. I've done heavy drugs with them before, but usually, I could identify what the drugs were.

I watch Alice but say nothing because she's a big girl and it's not like I can choke it out of her. What's done is done, and I have to accept it.

I sit in my spot in the circle they have created and smoke the blunt I rolled. Lauren is swaying to music even though there is no music playing, and Victoria is leaning back on her hands with a huge smile on her face.

"Get the camera," Victoria says, and everyone jumps into action.

Lauren grabs the camera and Alice taps a few buttons on her computer. I notice that they all have this really weird, almost sedated-looking grin on their face.

I start to ask what the hell kind of drug they're on, but suddenly the baggie is thrust in my face, answering my question.

"Bella, you need one," Victoria says, opening the bag as if I'd put my hand out for one.

"I think I'm okay." I lift the blunt for her to see, but she rolls her eyes at me.

"Where's your sense of adventure Bella?"

"Come on Bella. It'll be fun." Lauren pushes. I feel this is a social experiment in itself, and I am so totally about to fail, but I don't care. Somehow saying no feels like declining a challenge, and denying myself a good time, which is something I'm not in the habit of doing.

"Why not? What's the worst that could happen?" I mumble, taking the capsule and tossing it back like it's nothing.

An hour and a half later, I'm shirtless, and my friends are basically in a full-on lesbian porno in the middle of my living room floor. The dares have been outrageous, but whatever drug Victoria gave us made us feel blissful and free. Nothing about this night should have been recorded because it sent the wrong message to our viewers. This should have been private between friends, but instead, six thousand people have viewed it already, and the numbers rise by the hour.

I should have known we'd taken things too far when one of the viewers comments bordered on the line of prostitution.

I'll pay the brunette two hundred bucks to show me that pretty cunt.

Since that day, I could see dollar signs in Victoria's eyes every time she looked at me, and I was almost ashamed because I imagine my dad once looked at my mother much of the same way.


	19. Chapter 18

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

Chapter 18

Indulge (V.) allow oneself to enjoy the pleasure of

I think we may have taken it too far. Each weekend I wake up feeling like shit, yet I still party on Friday night as if I'm not aware of the regret I'll feel each Saturday morning.

I take the capsule with one singular thought in my mind each time. "I'll regret this in the morning." Yet I still do it, I still have a good time, and the cycle never stops repeating itself.

Ever since girl's night at my home became a success on the web show, Victoria has demanded it of us every weekend. It was a bad idea, but often times I indulge the bad and ignore the good so things weren't much different in this scenario. One thing's for certain, if I didn't get a job, our girls nights would have to be canceled for good because I was running low on money and I could no longer live off what Victoria paid me.

I applied for a job the day after my birthday and was offered the job at a boutique in Port Angeles. When I was asked to take a drug test, I thought nothing of it because usually, I don't do drugs very often; only recreationally a few times a year. Somehow, I forgot about my weekends with the girls and was humiliated when I received a call saying that I failed the drug test. I couldn't believe the shit turn my life was taking. It was as if I was no longer in the driver's seat. I hated not being able to control my life or my world. I wasn't used to it, and I didn't like it.

For some reason, I didn't recognize who was actually in the driver's seat for so long. Even when she placed envelopes in front of me with stacks of hundred dollar bills. I didn't feel cheap because I thought the money was from our Social Experiments. I was wrong , and seriously unaware that Victoria was more than just a shark. She was a sneaky conniving snake, and she used me like a puppet without me ever even realizing it.

I never mentioned the drugs. I mean, who would I tell? I don't have parents looking out for me, nor any adult figures in my life to steer me in the right path. I know that it all started with peer pressure that first night but really, every time after that I became just like my friends, actively participating.

It didn't seem harmful at all, much like weed, which I still don't consider a dangerous drug. To me, X was just a better way of living. It's about enlightenment and living the way I'd vowed to. It heightened my senses and made every experience of my life brighter, and I didn't feel as if I was abandoning the darkness. With the drug, I was able to have both.

I never expected Edward to recognize my abusive patterns and call me out on it. I never expected him to see me clearly, because like I said before, I only let people see the parts of me that I want them to see. Edward sees beyond that, which is scary because if I'm transparent to him, not only can he see the good, but also the bad.


	20. Chapter 19

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers_

* * *

Chapter 19

He's in my house, on my bed, leaning back against the headboard while he gently plays with my hair. At first, the act seemed too intimate, but now I think of it as his way of letting me know he's with me and that I'm not alone. How he knows I need that kind of comfort is beyond me, but somehow he knows, and I secretly love how much he cares.

"Why do you do it?" His question comes out in a whisper but I know for sure the amount of energy it's taking him to hold back his emotions, and I'm thankful.

I shrug before speaking in a voice that matches his own as I think back to my mom's drug use.

"It's fun. We have fun."

"Do you even remember the things you do the night before? I've watched-"

I quickly sit up to face him, shocked and a bit humiliated. "You've watched our live stream?"

Edward slowly nods his head, and I look down ashamed of myself. Some of that stuff is really racy and half of the time, I can't believe I'm the one actually doing those things.

Usually, Victoria wakes us up and has us all do a reaction video. We watch all of the antic from the night before, and it's so real, so us, but we can't believe it. I've been videotaped doing things I wouldn't normally do, and all I can say is that it was fun? That I had fun?

I slap my hands against my face trying to hide from him. It's too bright in here, it's too much light... and he can see me. Not only can he see me, but he has made me see myself, and I don't like what I see.

"Victoria posts on other sites. Did you know that?" Edward's voice is lined with restrained anger, and I can't help but peek between my fingers to see if he's angry.

"She told us last week, but I didn't want to know the details. I signed something; I don't know what it is-"

"Why didn't you read it first, Bella? Alice told me that Victoria's sister is a lawyer. There's no telling what she had you sign!" He raises his voice, but quickly checks himself, rubbing his eyes as if he was trying to stop a headache.

I don't know what to say. I knew I should have read it, but all she said was that it was a chance at making good money, which is something I desperately needed. How else could I afford to live?

Edward sits up in the bed and abruptly reaches for me, cradling my face in his hands. There's sadness, and desperation in his face, but no disappointment, no judgment or sympathy.

"Listen, Princess, I care about you. I care more than you can comprehend and it would hurt me if you were to get hurt. Do you understand?"

Although Edward never treats me as if I'm breakable or made of glass, he does have this way of speaking to me as if I'm fragile minded and unable to understand him emotionally. He has a right to treat me that way because somehow, in the short four months he's known me, he's completely figured me out. No matter how I close myself off, he's right there making his way into my life, my head and my heart.

I stare at him trying my hardest to understand why he cares, and why I matter enough for him to feel for me? That's what this is right? His way of telling me that my pain affects him just as acutely as it affects me. Why does the thought both humble and terrify me? Why does the thought make me want to make him feel more?

He raises his brows and dips his head until we are at eye level. He's begging me to understand, and I want so badly to give it to him. I want to give him assurance of my understanding of his level of loyalty, his level of passion.

With my eyes glued to his, I slowly nod and take a breath, closing my eyes to the light and breathing in the darkness.

I feel his hand move to the back of my neck as his head falls forward to mine. "Hey." He says, squeezing my neck, comforting me without even the slightest knowledge of how badly I need it. "Don't shut me out."

I try to pull away, but he holds me fast. "I have to," I whisper softly.

He holds the back of my head in a firmer grasp, and I reach back to grip his wrist, needing his hands to move before I break. I'm not even sure why I feel like I'm shattering under his touch, why my heart is beating out of my chest, why my stomach is in knots, and my lungs are constricting.

"You can't pull away. You can't." His voice breaks on the last word, and I squeeze my eyes tighter because he's breaking me, and I'm having a hard time resisting. "I see you." He says through clenched teeth.

His words echo in my head over and over, and then the meaning floods my every thought, engraving the three words in my heart. My eyes fly open to look at him.

I shake my head. "No."

"Yes, I do. I see all of you!" He raises his voice, and the look of desperation turns into something else. Something I've never seen before which succeeds as the driving force of my resolve.

I shake my head trying harder to pull away from him. "I can't do this." I struggle to pull free of him, but I still manage. I turn to walk toward the door but not before I see his hands slowly slump to the bed as defeat washes over his entire being.

I promised myself I would never cause Edward to feel that way again. I vowed never to make such a strong man feel so utterly distraught. As I look back on this time, reflecting over my promises, I realize just how much of a failure I am. I'd caused much more than defeat...I'd slowly chipped away at his heart. That night I saw more than his confidence take a hit, I saw the first flicker of his light as it was dimmed.


	21. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer: These characters belong to Stephanie Meyers._

* * *

Chapter 20

 **Bella POV**

Consume (V.) (of a feeling) absorb all of the attention and energy of (someone)

What is it that he keeps trying to tell me without saying it? What is this feeling in my belly, in my chest? I'm all in knots and I'm wrapped up, tied up, and all consumed. Why does all the oxygen feel sucked out of a room when he enters? Why is it hard to breathe when he's around, and even harder when he's not? Why can't we stay away when we both know how wrong we are for each other?

I should have said no when he asked me to go to his father's gallery opening. I should have made up plans and spent my night stargazing in the dark to keep my mind off him. Knowing how obsessed I am, my mind probably would have visualized his face in the stars, smirking down at me for lying to him. He can't be escaped. He is the definition of persistent, and even I can't resist.

He'd come to pick me up, and ever the gentleman, he opened the door and ushered me into his dad's car before making his way to the driver's side to take his place.

We drove in silence at first, and usually, I wouldn't mind, but his incessant humming, which was normal, was somehow bothering me.

"How's your dad getting to the gallery?" I ask.

"He rode with Esme in her car."

"Will Alice be there?"

He looks over at me and grins. "Naturally."

"Hmm." I nod slowly, taking in the rows and rows of trees as we pass.

"Something on your mind, Princess?" He asks after a long stretch of uncomfortable silence, which is my fault. I'm sure I'm not hiding how uncomfortable I feel.

"You say it as if you already know." I turn my head to look at him.

"I have some idea."

I sigh deeply before speaking the god's honest truth.

"What is this?" I ask, motioning between us, then the car, then the wide-open ride. I need answers.

"I told you I would take you to a gallery. I meant it."

"Yeah, but you- I mean- this isn't-" I clear my throat and try to make a joke out of my question, but I'm not sure if he takes what I say the way that I meant. "But we're not on a date?"

I lean forward as far as my seatbelt will allow so that I can see his face. He says nothing, but a muscle in his jaw ticks and I know he's upset.

"Or..." I trail off, looking down at my hands as my palms begin to sweat, and I feel a familiar flush spread over my body. We sit in silence for the rest of the ride to our destination and when we pull into a parking spot, he turns off the car. I look over at him to see his head is hung low, and his hand is still resting on the key in the ignition.


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 20

Contingency (N.) a future event or circumstance that is possible but cannot be predicted with certainty

"Edward." I breathe; it's a soft whisper, softer than even I have ever heard my voice. "You're not going to say anything?"

His head slowly lifts, and his head shifts in my direction to show a face full of confusion, brows drawn together, but still manage to be high on his forehead as if what I'm saying is unfathomable.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I-" I try to say something, anything to take that look off his face but he quickly continues.

"What else can I say?" His brows lower and his nostrils flare as he looks down. "I can't make you feel something for me. I can't-" His words catch in his throat. "I've tried showing you, I've tried... everything and the thought of going on a date with me is laughable to you." He says it with humorless amusement, almost mocking the situation without knowing the reason for my behavior. How can he know the reason when even I'm confused by it?

I grab his hand in mine, and his eyes snap to look at me with the fierceness of a thousand suns.

"It's not laughable. I didn't mean-"

"You didn't mean to what? To make me feel this way?" He turns his body abruptly to face me, his face as serious as I have probably ever seen it. "You don't get it! You don't-" He smacks the steering wheel with his free hand, and I jump. "I am falling hard for you." He says through grit teeth.

My mouth drops open, and I slowly retract my hand from his. "I have since the moment I met you, and I can't stop. I can't stop." His voice grows smaller with each word.

In a voice that matches his, I respond slow and steady. "I don't understand."

"You don't." He says, nodding with strong belief in his words. "And you probably never will."

After more silence, I grow restless, and wonder if we're okay, so I ask in a small unsure voice that even I don't recognize. "Are we okay? I mean... as friends?"

He looks at me for long seconds before sighing. Then he nods. "Sure."

I thought his words were final, and I surely never would know what it is that he felt for me. I was so sure that no one could care about me, or maybe they just shouldn't. I surely didn't need anyone's love, nor did I know what it felt like to be loved.

Thinking back now, I realize that even though he'd only said he was falling, he meant so much more. He meant he had fallen, and my lack of reciprocation was killing him.

I never thought I would understand, because, after that day, he surely didn't try hard to make me understand. I suppose he thought I wasn't capable of reaching into the recess of my heart that made loving him possible.

He'd showed me so many pieces of art that night, but kept a respectable and friendly distance, trying to help me see the art through his eyes. I could somehow understand how he could make himself believe he was in love with a piece that was unchanging, yet I couldn't understand how he could fall in love with someone like me. A woman also stuck in her ways and unchangeable. A woman so wrapped in the ideas and opinions of others she doesn't know her own story. I am the epitome of his lost artwork, his lost princess, his abused dove. He wants to be the Prince, the rescuer, the savior, the lover, but what he doesn't realize is that I don't need saving. I put myself in the highest tower locked away with the dragon. I asked to be abused by the evil stepmother. I am the creator of my own cell, my own darkness. I set up the forest of Euphoria for myself with impenetrable walls made to keep out the very likeness of him.

But no matter how hard I tried to fight my feelings, I never could have expected to fall so madly in love with someone.

After all, I'd never been loved the way that Edward Cullen loved me.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

Contingent (Adj.) occurring or existing only if (certain other circumstances) are the case; dependent on.

Ever since our weekend girl's night became a bigger hit than our Social Experiments, Victoria has been trying to figure out a way to combine the two. She had been coming up blank for the past three weeks, but today she'd said she finally had an idea.

Most of her ideas were contingent upon my participation since I had become a fan favorite. I guess I just give off the slutty vibe because they all jump at the chance to make me do something really awkward and against the social order.

She said there was one major flaw in her plan, but she wanted to see how well I handled today's Social Experiment before she divulged all of her wicked plans.

My challenge, if I chose to accept it- I have to ask one hundred guys for sex. This was the only part Victoria mentioned and honestly, it wasn't too far off from the norm so I agreed.

Looking back on it now, I should have known she would eventually expect me to follow through.

I didn't know what to expect when Edward cornered me at my locker on Monday. The halls were empty and quiet as classes went on with the scheduled last period of the day. I took my time leisurely scanning through notebooks to find the one that I used for my calculus class when all of a sudden I am spun around and my back is shoved against my locker.

I look up to see Edward's stony face, and clenched jaw, looking a lot like a fire-breathing dragon.

Next to him is Alice, with sunken bloodshot eyes and a pale face, looking both scared and anxious all at once. Instantly and without question, I know what this is about. Two months and eight Fridays full of drug-induced pleasure filled fun, all videotaped for live audiences.

"Edward-" I begin, but I'm quickly cut off when he steps into my face, my words catching in my throat.

"Tell her what you told me, Alice," Edward says but doesn't look away from me.

"Victoria has to be stopped Bella, she-" Alice voice breaks, and a tear falls down her face as she closes her eyes tightly.

Edward looks back at Alice and takes a slow calming breath. "Victoria paid Alice to have sex with a stranger last night." My eyes widen, and snap to look at Alice because I was not expecting that. "I caught her throwing up in the boy's bathroom a few minutes ago. She couldn't even make it to the girl's bathroom quick enough." He rubs his forehead and takes a step back to put an arm around Alice's shoulder. "Alice spent the night at Victoria's parent's house while they were out of town and she got Alice on X and cocaine. Victoria made her watch the video of her practically getting raped last night and made Alice do a reaction video."

"That can't be right. Victoria wouldn't-"

"She did, Bella. I just need you to be careful with her. You can't trust her." He pleads with his eyes for me to be understanding and protect myself. "Tell me; promise me you won't do something like this."

"I won't," I answer quickly, my eyes falling to the floor as my brain catches up with the seriousness of this situation. Victoria wouldn't do something like this. There has to be more to the story.

"Promise me." He begs.

I don't reply right away because even I still need answers.

Eventually, I relent. "I promise," I say, and watch as he leans forward to press a kiss to my forehead.

"Take care of yourself." His tone is friendly, almost paternal; it's been that way since the night of the gallery. I pretend it doesn't bother me, and that it doesn't hurt that he had taken a step back. I'm lying to myself and cheating us both out of happiness.

He'd warned me that he would get close, but what he didn't know is that without allowing it, he'd managed to get closer than anyone.

I thought I could fight his charm, and for a second I actually thought I was winning, but then he seeped further into my skin and lit my insides on fire. He'd succeeded at becoming more than my Prince, more than my rescuer, he was also the captor of my heart. He made it impossible to move forward because then I would have to leave him. Selfish of me to want him to follow me into the darkness when I was so unwilling to come to the light.


	24. Chapter 23

This story is beta'd by Sunflower Fran.

Chapter 22

Furtive (Adj.) attempting to avoid notice or attention, typically because of guilt or a belief that discovery would lead to trouble; secretive.

Why do I feel lied to and betrayed?

Why can't my 'friend' go on a date without me losing my shit?

Why can't I forget about Edward Cullen?

Questions I asked my friends aloud as they painted their nails and listened to my never-ending rant.

"Bella, chill out! It's just a date, sweetie." Rose says through pops of her gum. "Nothing will come of it." She says then begins blowing on her toes and fanning them with her hands to dry.

"Why did I have to find out about his date from Alice? Why didn't he tell me himself? We're friends... sort of."

"Bella it's no secret. Tanya has had her eyes on him since he moved here. He's just been so wrapped up in someone else I know." Alice says, rolling her eyes at the end for emphasis.

"Wrapped up in who? What does that last part mean?"

"What are you, an idiot? Bella, he's ridiculously in love with you." Alice says, shaking her head at me for good measure.

"And don't forget the other part, Alice," Rose says, smiling brightly, popping her gum again.

"Oh, right and you love him too." She says it like it's nothing, but instantly I freeze and zone out, practically having a heart attack.

Love him?

Do I love him?

What does that mean?

I have feelings for him?

"No, I-" I start to say, but words evade me. "We just care about each other."

"So, why are you pacing the floor again?" Rose asks at the same time Alice asks. "Why don't you want him to go on this date with Tanya?"

"I don't know!"

Rose sighs in frustration. "At least do us all a favor and admit you like the guy. That would be an improvement."

I stand there and think back on every last memory I have of Edward. I think back to our initial texts, and then to how we sang to each other, and then we met at the beach all those months ago. I think back to how that first kiss made me feel and how I have tried my hardest ever since then to ignore it. I think back to his words, and his actions; then to my words, my actions, my reactions...

"Oh no!" I whine, my heart pounding at the thought of the words threatening to spill from my lips. I palm my forehead and then smack myself, "Oh God, oh God! Noo!" I bend at the waist and dry heave.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!"

"Babe, what's wrong?" Rose asks from her seat on the floor. I look up to see the concern on her face, and then I glance at Alice, who looks sick with worry.

I stand straight and look at the ceiling with my hands covering my eyes. My stomach is literally in knots as I say the words.

"I love him."

"Well duh!" Alice says, and I feel her beside me rubbing my back. I look over at her and pout.

"This is gonna hurt like a bitch."

Alice's mom heard about the videos and banned her from doing them anymore. Even though Alice is eighteen, she still lives with her so the rules are still to be followed.

Alice also could not go out on the weekends as a part of her punishment. However, she could have friends over. Esme was skeptical of me, only because she'd heard that all of the videos had been filmed at my home, and she was worried I was pressuring Alice to enter pornography. It was the furthest thing from the truth, but I didn't have it in me to explain.

Around eleven at night, Edward entered the house and made his way upstairs toward his room. I could hear his footsteps, and I waited with baited breath for him to pass Alice's room to get to his just so I could get a glimpse of him.

As he passed, he yawned and glanced into Alice's room where the girls were sound asleep. With wide eyes, he stopped dead in his tracks when he sees me.

Then he turns and leans his shoulder against the door frame. "Moving in?" He says, with a slow easy smile spreading across his face.

I grin at him and roll my eyes. "I wish I could live here. You guys have a pool."

"Esme has a pool." He says, and I tilt my head to the side, understanding his unspoken words.

"Do you not feel at home here?"

He shrugs and runs a hand through his hair looking uncomfortable.

"My dad was a struggling artist when they met online two years ago. She has money, he doesn't."

"But they're married so it becomes their money."

He nods. "Still..." He trails off looking away from me.

"So..." I trail off trying to figure out how to bring up his date.

"So..." He repeats my words and then the grin is back on his face.

"Can you two go flirt in his room? We're trying to sleep." Alice says, and I laugh, Edward does as well. Then he motions for me to follow him. I stand from my place on the floor, feeling self-conscious in my shorts and tank top.

When Edward opens his door, he ushers me in first, and I take a look around at all of the artwork he has on the walls. My eyes then move to the shelf of books, then to all of his surfing trophies. Letting my eyes take in his entire room I'm moving in a circle to take everything in before allowing my eyes to rest on his handsome face.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

Perception (N.) a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

"I like your room," I say. Then my eyes move to an object leaning against his desk. I move towards it with wide eyes. "Foam sword?" I grab the sword and hop onto his bed, admiring it.

"Yeah, it's...nothing. It's weird."

"It's cool. I've always wanted one." I look up at him with a huge grin on my face. "One of my Mom's exes was obsessed with Star Wars and all of those knight movies. I'd stay up at night and watch them wishing I had a sword or light saber, to, you know, protect myself." I shrug, and then look up to see a very peculiar look on Edward's face.

"What?"

He shakes his head and walks over to me with his hands behind his back, his eyebrows drawn low on his face and his head down. "Nothing, I just-" He scratches his chin before continuing. "What did you need protection from?"

"From the boyfriends, or whatever they were considered."

I look over at his still form and pensive expression. He's quiet for a long time and then out of nowhere he says.

"Did they ever..." He trails off, angling his body toward me, but keeping his head down. "Touch you... hurt you."

I suck in a breath, frightened by how direct his question is. "Yea, most of them."

I see his hand clench into a fist and then unclench. "Do they still come? Are they still-"

"No." I breathe out in a barely audible whisper, but that seems to calm him. He runs a hand through his hair again and takes a breath.

"I can't bear the thought of someone touching you, or hurting you."

I pause at his words trying to figure out how to put my feelings into words.

"You hurt me," I say and watch as he slowly lifts his head, his eyes quickly finding mine. "You hurt me today."

Understanding crosses his features, and he stands, backing away, but keeping his eyes on me.

"Princess, you hurt me every day!" He says, and I startle, looking away from him. "You don't believe me?"

"I do. That doesn't make it right, though."

He runs a hand through his hair and tugs. "What do you want from me? Hmm? Tell me."

I cross my arms over my chest and try not to get angry at his change of mood, and his standoffish behavior.

"I want to know why you didn't tell me about her?" I ask, and then I receive a reaction from him like none I've ever seen before. He laughs, and it's in mock humor.

"Give me a break, Bella-" He turns to walk away, but I quickly stand and grab his arm, pulling him to face me.

"No, tell me. I want to know."

He folds his arms across his chest and shrugs his shoulders. "You want to know what exactly?"

"Why you didn't tell me?"

"Does it matter?"

I say nothing for a long second and just stare at him feeling a lump form in my chest as my next words grip at my heart.

"Do you like her?"

He stares at me, not speaking; completely expressionless. My heart beats frantically in my chest as I wait for his response. I feel sick to my stomach thinking I'm too late, and he's moving on.

"Do you like the guys you kiss? The guys you ask to have sex with? Do you like the guys you dance with at parties? Do you like the guys that ask you to show your body to them for money? Do you like them, or do you like the attention? Which is it? Because just like you would like an answer to your question, I'd like answers to mine."

"You knew I did web shows. You knew-."

"Why have some of the shows turned pornographic?"

"Because we make good money doing it!" I defend Victoria's plan even though I have been ignoring her for three weeks. I'm not so sure her new idea is one that I can live with, but the money may be enough to make me cave.

He falters back a step taken completely off balance and glares at me. "You like being exploited in that way?"

I hug my arms close to my body all of a sudden feeling very cold almost as if my darkness is surrounding us both. Edward is withdrawing; taking his warmth and his light, and finally leaving me in the forest alone.

"No, I don't, Edward, but I need the money."

He sighs, and then runs both hands down his face, looking at the ceiling as he takes a breath.

"It's about the money for you." He says.

"At first, it was just for fun, but then-"

"I know, I know. I heard it all from Alice. The bigger the envelopes, the bigger the exploitation."

"I think you have it backward."

"It doesn't matter!" He raises his voice, and I jump. He holds a hand out towards me in silent apology. "It doesn't matter. I don't like seeing you on screen doing things-"

"You can't make a call like that for me. I make my own decisions."

"That is exactly why I went on that date." He says which altogether breaks my heart and crushes my spirit. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, and I feel a sob bubbling to the surface. "You're unwilling to change." He says, ripping small pieces out of my heart.

I nod my head, breathing hard and heavy as I hold back my tears. "I thought you really believed in what you said. I thought you really were in love with the art because it was unchanging. I see now that it's your perception that changes." I poke his chest, not roughly but enough to get his attention. "The way in which you see the art changes, and when it does, so does your love."


	26. Chapter 25

This story is beta'd by the lovely Sunflower Fran.

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Chapter 24

Irrevocable (Adj.) not able to be changed, reversed, or recovered; final.

I was heartsick and hurting more than I ever had been in my entire life. What was it that Edward was telling me? That he no longer loved me? He no longer wanted me?

It had been two hours since our argument, and I was unable to sleep, wishing I had a mom and not a mother in times like these. I needed a mom, someone to comfort me and tell me what to do when all I wanted to do was cry my silly, foolish heart out.

I didn't have a mom, but I had a love that I felt could not be changed now that I could identify it. Maybe I could believe as he once had. I can live the way he had if possible.

I leaped from the floor of Alice's room and slowly tiptoed down the hall to Edward's room. His door was just as I'd left it, slightly opened because I refused to show him that I was upset. I wouldn't dare slam the door and let him know how badly he'd hurt me with mere words when I'd been the one hurting him with actions from day one. Isn't love an action word? Maybe that's why his love moved? My actions drove them away.

I tiptoed in, and as soon as I closed the door behind me, he was alerted to my presence.

"Bella!" He's startled, sitting upright in seconds.

I turn to face him and slowly, ever so slowly I peeled my clothes off in front of him. My body had been used for what I perceived as affection for far too long. It was only now that I knew what I wanted...what I needed. I needed to be loved. I needed to know that my body could be used to show my innermost feelings. I could show him better than I could tell him how I felt and then there would be no doubt in his mind.

Seconds of silence passed between us and before I know it, I stood before him naked, and comfortable in my own skin; in my element; in the darkness that surrounds us.

I drank in the sight of him bare-chested and glowing faintly in the dark, and when I reached his eyes, I notice instantly that he's doing the same to me. The look in his eyes pulls at something deep within me like nothing I have ever felt before, sexually or otherwise. He has the look of a starving man being overtaken by predatory instinct and the unrestrained lust pulses through my body sending shivers down my spine.

"Do you still want me?" I whisper the question into the dark space between us. He stays still with that unwavering stare. "Am I too late?"

He finally looks away, and I see him bite down on his bottom lip and take a deep breath before pushing the covers away and standing.

As he closes the distance, I feel the magnetism between us, the pull, the drive to be near and to touch. When he's right in front of me, I close my eyes and take a breath feeling a weight lift off my chest. Then he's touching me, and I nearly hyperventilate.

His hand cups my cheek and he smooths a thumb underneath my eye removing a tear I hadn't known was there.

"Look at me, Princess." He whispers the command, and my eyes snap to his. I stare longingly into his eyes hoping he likes what he sees there because I'm not ready to voice the emotion. I grip his wrist when his other hand gently cups my other cheek, and I lean into his touch, tilting my head to view him, much as I'd viewed the artwork at his father's gallery.

I've figured out a way to tell him, and suddenly the words come easily as the realization shows on his face. Another tear falls down my cheek when I realize how truly beautiful and accurate the words are.

"I see you." My eyes search his for reassurance, for confirmation, for anything... Then his eyes soften, and his touch grows desperate, and I know he understands what I'm trying to say.

"I see you." He whispers before leaning forward and pressing his lips to my forehead. "I see you." He then kisses my cheek. "I see you." Then my other cheek, before looking into my eyes. "I see all of you, Princess, and I want you, and only you, always."

"You haven't changed your mind?"

"How could I?" He frowns at his own question showing just how absurd the idea is.

I nod and look down licking my suddenly, very dry lips. I take a ragged breath and then another, not realizing how hard it had been to breath only moments ago.

He pushes my hair back and lifts my chin. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to give your body to me if you're not ready. Your heart is enough."

I close my eyes and a tear trickles down my face, then another, then another, and I have no clue why I'm crying other than the fact that my love for this man is so overwhelming, and the way that he loves me is so beautiful. God! I don't deserve it. I don't deserve him.

"Why?" I sob, my eyes burning from the impact of my tears. "Why do you love me like you do?"

"You make me this way. You turn everything upside down. You unhinge me, drive me to the point of madness and then bring me back. No one has ever shaken my world into disarray and been able to put the pieces back together by simply existing." He caresses my cheek with the back of his hand, and his tender eyes cause my heart to constrict in my chest.

My eyes shut on the impact of his words as more tears escape. "I don't deserve-"

"Don't tell me what you deserve!" The sharpness of his voice prompts me to open my eyes.

I search his for the source of his anger, but there is none. There's only desperation, love, and the most intense brand of passion known to man. He brings his face closer to mine, and his voice softens to a whisper.

"Don't tell me how to love you!" Feeling utterly weak beneath the onslaught of words, I close the distance between us, resting my forehead against his chest.

At hearing these words I cry harder, and he pulls my naked body to him, his arms wrapped around my shoulders, my arms on his back with my head resting on his chest.

"I'm no good for you," I whisper through shaky breath and falling tears.

He sighs into my neck, not knowing that this is more of a warning than he will ever realize. "I don't want to break your heart."

"The only way you can break it is to stop loving me." He whispers the words against my neck before placing a kiss there.

"I can't break your heart without shattering my own," I whisper into his chest, and he grows silent. After a while, I wonder if he heard my muffled words at all.

Then he squeezes me closer and kisses my neck, then my jaw.

"I don't want that to happen." He whispers and then kisses right under my ear, and I take a long shuttering breath.

"Neither do I," I whisper back, closing my eyes, trying to memorize every beautiful second of our encounter tonight. I kiss his chest, and he shudders in my arms.

"Your lips are so soft." He says, and then he hisses against my shoulder when I slide my body against his erection. "Not tonight, Princess."

"Why not tonight?" I ask, and he doesn't respond, he only continues to nip at my shoulder, chest, and neck.

"Just be with me. Let me hold you." His words pierce my heart and make me feel all warm inside. He doesn't just want my body for sex, he wants me. Just me, anyway he can have, just me.


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 25

The next morning I wake to warmth pressed up against me and a strong arm over my body clasping my boob holding me firmly in place.

I smile as my eyes rapidly blink and I squint when the rays of light break through my consciousness. I put a hand over my eyes and try to wiggle to face away from the light and towards him, but his clutch is so strong on me, it's a useless attempt. I do manage to lie on my back, but I can't make it to face him.

I huff in annoyance and glance at him out of the corner of my eye to see that his eyes are closed, but there's a huge smile on his face.

"You need curtains," I say, shutting my eyes tightly to keep out the light.

He hums in acknowledgment and kisses beneath my ear before snuggling closer to me with his face buried in my neck.

"It's so bright in here," I complain and hate the sound of my groggy voice. "I need to get up."

"No." His grip on me tightens when I try to move. "Stay."

"I need to go before everyone wakes up." I try harder to move away, and his eyes pop open and set on me. Then quick as lightning, he moves to his knees and straddles my midsection, grabbing my hands in his and holding them above my head.

"What are you doing?" I giggle, my face breaking into a goofy smile.

"Making sure you don't leave me before I'm ready."

"So when you're tired of me, you're going to kick me out?"

He smirks and bends down, burying his face in between my breast.

"I'll never grow tired of you." He places a kiss there then brings his lips to my neck, then beneath my chin and whispers, "One lifetime with you would never be enough."

I wiggle beneath him and he hisses as his boxer clad cock rubs against my skin and his morning wood becomes more prominent. I smile, loving that my simple movement causes such a reaction out of him.

Just then, someone barges in, already in full conversation with Edward as if this is a daily routine.

"Seriously Edward? Clothing in front of the door, sweetie? You're hardly the type to leave things lying around."

I look around Edward to see Esme with a basket in her arm against her hip, and she's bent at the waist picking up my clothes from last night.

She stands and examines the clothing coming to an obvious conclusion.

"Well, these are definitely not yours." She raises a brow never once looking at Edward and me. She shrugs and still takes my pajamas and tosses them in the basket. "If you have anything else just bring it downstairs to the laundry room."

"Sure." Edward sits up, blocking my view and scratches the back of his head nervously. "Esme do you think you could maybe knock before-"

"Before I enter a room in my own home?" Esme asks, and I imagine her raising an eyebrow at Edward. He freezes, not knowing her well enough to know that she's joking. "I'll try harder to remember privacy and boundaries. It's not something I'm used to but of course, you're a boy so I understand things are different."

Edward's brows slant and in a small voice almost like a question he says, "Thank you."

I don't physically see Esme's smile because Edward is blocking my view, but her signature smile is in her voice when she responds sweetly, "Of course. Now make yourself decent and come down for breakfast. Your father is making pancakes."

Edward nods and glances down at me just as Esme says, "You too Bella," and leaves both Edward and me sitting there with wide eyes too stunned to speak.


	28. Chapter 27

Thank you for editing this story Sunflower Fran. :)

* * *

Chapter 26

Inquisition (N.) a period of prolonged and intensive questioning or investigation.

I spend most of the next few days answering question after question from both Alice and Rose.

Their main issue is whether we are officially a couple now or not, which I don't quite know how to answer.

People around school have started murmuring about us because of how openly touchy Edward gets with me and I sort of hate it. I thought I loved attention, it's one of the reasons I made sure to become just as popular as Victoria was before she left, but I realize now that privacy is something I value above all else.

The rumor mill started the Tuesday after our weekend spent in Edward's bed.

I was walking to class with my books clutched in the crook of my left arm, when Edward startles me walking close beside and instantly threading his fingers with mine.

With his brows drawn together and his eyes set on our joined hands, he says, "Do you know why the spaces between your fingers were created?"

I open my mouth to give some smart-ass response when he continues, "So that I could fill them with mine."

My heart does an unexpected leap, and I melt as I look over at his smiling face. Then he lifts our intertwined hands to his mouth and kisses mine.

"Have a good day, Princess."

That was the day my heart grew in size, or maybe it was just my love for him that increased. Either way, I am drowning in an emotion that I am not familiar with, and I don't know what to do about it.

The second time Edward caused a stir of conversation was in the lunchroom when he surprised the hell out of everyone by publicly kissing me.

I was in the middle of telling him how much I love my American History class, explaining why the course is so great, animatedly expressing the deep connection I feel to history and how amazing my teacher is for breaking it down in ways that I not only understand, but I actually enjoy. He listens and comments appropriately but mostly he just watches me as if what I am saying is the most interesting thing ever. He tilts his head to the side and even as I talk, I see the look he gets when he's in thought. The look he gets when he's admiring me like a work of art.

Suddenly, without warning, he smacks a kiss on my lips, as his hand makes its way into my hair. And when the shock wears off my eyes flutter closed. He kisses me long and hard as if he'd waited all day for the perfect moment. It's as if he had gone his entire day while suffering without my lips on his. It was also tender yet powerful, and wildly passionate, much like his array of personality traits.

When he pulls away, I am dazed and confused, blinking lazily to put my world back into focus.

"What was that for?" I whisper, opening my eyes to see him smiling at me. He's always smiling at me, and I secretly love that about him. He can't help but express how much he adores me.

He tucks a stray lock of my hair behind my ear and then pinches my chin. "For being you."

I don't swoon often, but he got me there. How can my heart take any more of his sweetness? Can a heart burst? Is it possible because I feel like I'm bursting with love for him.

Edward's smile never fades as he takes a chip off my tray and puts it into his mouth, making the mere act of chewing look like a sex ritual or something.

When I don't speak, his smile widens and he makes a gesture with his hands for me to continue my story.

I blink at him, wondering if he expects me to be able to talk right now. My suspicions are confirmed when he says, "Continue."


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 27

I've never been one to explain myself. I honestly think it's pointless for someone like me to ever have to. I do what I do because I can, and there's no one to tell me otherwise.

So when I'm questioned by Lauren in the girl's bathroom about why I haven't been doing segments, I'm thrown off guard. Then she suggests that Edward is the reason, and I freak, because when has anyone ever had influence over my decision, or told me that I could or couldn't do something?

"Why would this have anything to do with Edward?"

"Maybe because he called Victoria and basically told her to stop contacting you because you're out."

"What?" I shout, outraged by his audacity. How dare he call Victoria.

"Yeah, he said that he would fix your monetary problems and that you no longer needed us. I thought it was a pretty shitty thing to say because let's face it, Victoria has never made us do anything we didn't want to do."

"I can't believe he did that." I stare at myself, wide-eyed and gaping in disbelief.

"Are you two like a couple now?"

I brace my arms on the countertop and look down into the sink, waiting for the correct response to filter before speaking.

"No, Lauren. You know me. I don't do relationships. He's just a friend."

"A friend you 'd fuck." She says before laughing, looking at me through the bathroom mirror.

I don't respond to her, but I do laugh half-heartedly because it's true. I want so badly to have him inside of me, but he's holding out. The other day he told me that he thinks that I will run the second I get what I want, and that scares him. It mind boggles me how he's both this really dominant, controlling, and confident guy one second, then this very tender, and sweet, self-conscious, borderline shy guy. How can he be both?

Seconds later, a toilet flushes and out walks Tanya. I blink at her, watching as she approaches the sink, her eyes set on mine through the mirror.

I continue to stare even while she washes her hands with a smug smile on her face. I know what that smile is for. The bitch was eavesdropping, and she thinks she's got sweet gossip on her hands.


End file.
